Guys, every week is such a tumultuous journey for each of our guests, but I love when we can take a seat back and hear from their perspective on where they are now. This week’s guest blogger is Dawn herself from last week’s hippy episode. Dawn, thanks for giving us a candid and honest account of what you went through. And readers, as always, you can see pictures from my Mai Closet from this episode as well.

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Jeannie, a lot of soul searching went into my before, after and during experience of being on The Show! Much to my surprise, my little sister approached me about my needing a makeover and my initial reaction was shock! I had never realized how strongly opposed she was to my attire! I mean, she’s the one who asked me to buy her a belt that said “TEETS” on it for her birthday, and I never uttered a word, just shelled out the cash! But, this isn’t about Toni, (at least not entirely), it’s about being forced to look at myself in a different way, to see myself as others perceived me, as Toni saw me (ok, maybe it IS about Toni, but being her big sister, I’ve realized nearly everything is ALL ABOUT HER!!!)

Anyway, I digress….

So after passing through the stages of grief~ shock, anger, sadness, I finally arrived at acceptance and the set of How Do I Look, primed and ready for whatever they threw at my and sucked up the ewww tube! Apparently, the folks at HDIL were as ready for me as I was them, because they certainly didn’t waste any time with formalities.

Immediately upon my arrival in L.A., I was whisked (if you can whisk anywhere in Los Angeles traffic) off to a photo shoot. Of course, there wasn’t any time to freshen up (hello!!!!! 8 hour on an airplane does not a pretty picture make) but I suppose that was the point! Outfit after retro outfit, I posed for 5 hours straight! Let me tell you, there’s no better way to get acquainted with people than to strip down naked numerous times in front of them upon your first meeting! I should stop here to thank those of you that I subjected to my skivvies, you know who you are, (relax, I wont “out” you) and I love you for it!

The rest of the week (yes, a week of shooting went into an hour of viewing!) went much of the same way! There were moments, (as there are in real life) where I questioned what the HELL it was that I was doing, but I had to remind myself that willing I signed up for this, for better or worse and I was going to see it through…

Ready or not, here I come…

For me, the most difficult part of the HDIL experience was trying on the make-over clothes in front of the camera~ Let me preface this by saying I NEVER try on clothes before buying them. That is because most of my clothes come from Goodwill or yard sales, but that is another story entirely, and partially the reason why I’m here spinning this yarn (yawn) now!

Anyway, stay with me, I’m working my way toward a happy ending! But first, a detour!

Sadly and alas, I didn’t really love any of the clothes that were picked out for me! One reason was that they were (YAY!!!) all a little too big (thank you Zumba)! I’d like to take a moment to remind you that the camera really does add 10(0) lbs. And to inform you that Jeannie Mai is elf sized!

Nor were the clothes practical. Ummm, wearing white jeans when surrounded by 7 year olds? $2000.00 Moschino dress in a town more often than not spelled wrong on most maps?!?!? Still, I did wear it on the first day of school and received lots of “ooooh’s and aaahhh’s” and a few “That’s the dress from the show’s!”. Over the summer the jeans and I hung out at the Tiki Bar and the heels have been tried on by each and every one of my female friends, ages ranging from 4–74! So, I’m happy to report that many aspects of my make-over were a big hit!

The blond hair, however, was a major disappointment! Prior to bleaching it, my hair was already badly damaged, (as you all can attest from my before photo shoot), so processing the shit out of it probably wasn’t in my best interest! I did maintain the blond for the duration of the summer, which of course caused more damage and a significant dent in my wallet; but dyed it brown upon returning to school.

I was also upset that I was mocked on the show for wearing clip-in (home-made) extensions, and instead of remedying the problem by giving me real, professional hair extensions, the stylist just slapped more clip-in extensions in and schooled me on the “proper” way to sew my own! So while the hairstyle was great for ratings on the night of the reveal, it did nothing to improve my (“after”) life!

O.k. I promised you a happy ending, and here it is…

The experience was one of a life-time. The people I met were incredible, the clothing I was given I could only dream of owning, I am the envy of young and old, and perceived as a celebrity to most! I know fame is fleeting, and people will forget, but I will always remember to be thankful to my sister who provided me with this amazing opportunity Antoinette who supported me through it and my family and friends, behind the senses, who provide hugs and shoves in varying intervals when needed throughout the process and for that, I am made-over a better persona and forever in your debt! Thank you Jeanie, Robbie, and the cast of How Do I Look!

-Dawn