http://conversationswithbianca.com/2012/01/04/the-smashin-in-fashion-jeannie-mai-radiance-celebration-purpose-praying-it-forward/

I heart Jeannie Mai! The self-proclaimed Fashionista, Foodiva and Wearapist is a powerhouse of a woman with a big open heart and impeccable style. As a television personality – the host of The Style Network’s Emmy-nominated ‘How Do I Look?’ makeover show – she educates, guides and empowers women to overcome their insecurities; to see their true beauty, and to embrace their personal style to convey power and confidence helping in the pursuit of their biggest dreams. She also appears on E! News and the (US) Today Show as a fashion correspondent.

Jeannie started her career as a celebrity make-up artist and stylist working with the likes of Alicia Keys, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Aniston and more. If all that wasn’t enough! One of the greatest reasons I think Jeannie is amazing, is the fact she gives back to the community and contributes a wealth of positivity to the world via her inspiring philanthropic work. Mai works with several charities: Heartbeat Vietnam (a non-profit devoted to improving health care for impoverished children); NightLight International (an organization committed to rescuing women and children from sex trafficking and prostitution rings by providing employment and vocational opportunities) and more.

As well as ‘giving back’ herself, Jeannie encourages and motivates others to give back to the community with her pet project, The Prayer Box. Located in Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles, The Prayer Box encourages visitors to leave a personal prayer and take another from the box—the idea is to share expressions of love, hope and faith and to open people’s heart, mind and eyes to the prayers, plight and dreams of others. To me, Jeannie is a shining beacon of light, filled with loving-kindness and compassion—the perfect person to kick off another year of awesomeness on ConversationsWithBianca.com!

Let’s dream even bigger and better than ever this year friends and take positive action towards living our best life (something which is always growing and changing). And remember, as Mother Teresa once said, “It is not the size of our actions but the amount of love and care that is put into them that matters.” Dream big! Be awesome! Here’s to a kick ass 2012!

I’m a huge believer that we become what we believe in our life.

JEANNIE MAI: Yes!

Growing up what did you believe? What did you picture in life for yourself?

JM: I pictured so many different whirlwinds of possibilities and super powers that I didn’t just believe in one thing. The one word I remember that every position that I pictured I could be growing up (or that any women could be growing up) was: beautiful. Every woman to me was so radiant! When I say ‘radiant’ I don’t just mean looks, I mean the way they think, the way they connect together to build things to make amazing things happen, to combine talents and uplift each other – that was much more to me a ‘star-struck’ feeling than a position. No matter what position, whether she was a police woman, a doctor or she was a celebrity, every woman had that same spotlight glow on them. I think that is why I eventually started to fuse into makeup and fashion. I realised that is really the key to unlock all of the other beliefs about yourself on the inside as you can see it on the outside.

Have you always been a helpful and kind person? You have such a big and open heart; where did that come from?

JM: Aw Bianca thank you! That’s a nice thing to say. I didn’t always have a selfless perspective. I always loved being selfless but it wasn’t always an automatic thing. Obviously with your teenage years you get much more self-involved but, it was right around my mid-20s that some things really happened to me that helped me to find faith. To me faith is what really fuels me. I am very particular how I talk about this because I don’t want to preach at all for anybody else. Whatever works for anybody else that is amazing!

For me, having the feeling of gratitude that I was made and born with a purpose ignites that ‘give back’ feeling that I wake up with every single morning. To not only give back to others (like to the person that hands me my Starbucks cup to somebody that I am performing a makeover on) but also to myself what I need to be fuelled and to give my best, to not walk into situations half full. If I can’t bring my optimum best I reschedule or edit the situation so that I can. Like with this phone call that you so graciously moved. It was like, ok if I’m not going to give Bianca my full attention because I’m running around getting ready or whatever, I’m going to move it until I can give you my full attention because you deserve that. It’s something that I think people can experience once they have enlightened themselves to it. It’s actually still really a selfish thing to begin with because once you experience what it’s like to be that, it feels so good for yourself that you just want to keep doing it.

You’re a deeply spiritual person; what does that mean to you? What does spirituality mean to you? What does being spiritual mean to you?

JM: Spirituality for me means to believe that I was created with purpose. That’s my whole foundation, that I was born uniquely with purpose; that I was moulded together, every hair on my head, every experience that I went through, every heartbreak, every closed door, every person that walked into my life up until today—there’s a purpose for it. It gets me excited to be my very best and to expose myself to what could happen next. It’s all chronological; it all has to do with each other. For me, it’s also praying, having a conversation with God, actually thanking him in the morning for what took place and touching base throughout the day. And, trust me I am not the most holy saint of a person. I swear like a sailor… I’m pretty raw with my spirituality too and that’s what I love, having a really good communication level with praying. I love that when I talk to God that I’m talking to him just like I am talking to you or my best friend over a couple of beers. It’s no different; you don’t get any different side of me. What is different about who God is for me as opposed to talking to just any other person is that I thrive to mould myself to be better because of him. It’s a different sense of mentorship.

In a previous interview you mentioned that sometimes people annoy you but you always choose the higher road with every single person. I wanted to ask, how do you manage to do that?

JEANNIE MAI: First and foremost you have to have the want to be better. If you don’t want to be better and you like yourself the way that you are, oh my gosh! Enjoy your life and avoid people that annoy you and do as you will but, for me personally, I love myself the way that I am but I love myself too much to leave myself the way I am. I always want to try and be better.

Let’s just say someone is really annoying me, based off the idea that I want to strive to be better, then couldn’t I work on certain issues about myself so that that person that is just being themselves wouldn’t annoy me. I’m sure there are areas of myself that I can tap into that needs working on, for example patience: Oh my gosh! I’m sure that person wore my patience thin because I have such low patience. Is that them annoying me? Or is it me allowing them to annoy me because I don’t have as much patience as I should? There’s communication: I know I rush through things all of the time and I really live my day-to-day schedule so if someone frustrated me, then I know that my communication isn’t the strongest point about me and that perhaps, I have to work on my communication, slow down and stop and listen or read through carefully. If you really want me to pour out all the things that Jeannie Mai has to work on, she won’t have enough time on this call! [laughs].

Let’s say if I was annoyed and I reacted, immediately I’m going to think about the things about myself that I can enhance or look at right now in this very instant to talk myself up a few more metres on that low end of where it is at; to work out this annoyance, to be patient and for communication and listening skills – oh my gosh horrible! It would be the fact that I don’t always focus all the time or maybe the fact that I didn’t delegate correctly; the fact that I didn’t mind my time wisely so last night I slept horribly for two hours and everyone is getting the shit end of my stick today. There’s so many things that I could work on. You know the one finger pointing at another is four fingers pointing back, you’ll get a nice good load of things you need to work on to make you a) forget about that person annoying you so badly or b) have a totally different perspective so you can at least you can manage through whatever the situation was.

All the things that you mention like patience and focusing on things is the stuff I also struggle with. I always learn from every single interview that I do. Out of all of the people you have interviewed so far over your career is there anyone that stands out that has taught you something amazing?

JM: One of my favourite role models would be a man named Nick Vujicic. He is Australian and he is just an amazing man. He was born with no arms and no legs and today he presents himself in every available scenario possible because he appeals to anybody (whether it be battered women or foster children or murders in jail) to say, ‘You have everything you need in the way that you were born to make anything happen that you dream and all you have to do is just live it.’ You’re sitting here listening to this person and you want to feel bad for him but he’s living the most amazing life; he’s built houses, he’s drove cars and been in marathons. You look at someone like that and you just have to think, what am I going to whine or complain about? That goes for any other people that have setbacks in their life that they still manage to achieve. I want to remind every person out there that we have the exact same amount of days in a year as Helen Keleher or Mother Teresa and we have the exact same amount of hours in a day as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. There is no reason that you can’t accomplish being great either. It’s just how you see it and use it.

What does your show How Do I Look? mean to you?

JM: How Do I Look? is truly a show about celebration. You know when you have a birthday…sadly where I live in L.A. most people look at their birthday and go, ‘Oh my gosh! Another year!’ and they dread it and count the wrinkles on their face. To me, my birthday is the-bomb-dot-com! I get so excited because it’s a whole celebration of: my god! I am blessed. I am blessed another year! It’s that same reaction you might get if you barely miss a car accident or if you were in any near-death situation and you thank your stars and kiss the ground—that’s the same way I feel about my birthday and How Do I Look?

To me, each segment of the show is bringing each woman to recognise herself so that at that very last line she throws out at the end of the show, really is for herself to ask, How do I look? How do I look to myself? How do I look in the way that I see myself now? In that time in the show that’s when they should be celebrating that they look amazing! Nothing has changed in weight, maybe a few things that will wash off at the end of the night like make-up and hair but really, what changes is your perspective about yourself; your acceptance of yourself; your joy about who you are. That’s what How Do I Look? is about.

JEANNIE MAI: Clothing is clothing and you can always get another that will mean just as much. I think if anything, I do really love this cross that my mom gave me. She bought it and more than just the symbol of the cross (it’s not really that) it’s the fact that my mom isn’t that spiritual at all but she knows that I am. For her to go and get the cross for me as a gift, it really blessed me, and won my heart that she acknowledges something that is very important to me. Even if it doesn’t have to do with her per se, the fact that it has everything to do with who I am makes her acknowledge that and respect that which is huge!

Your mum was one of your earliest inspirations for style wasn’t she?

JM: Completely! My mum came here from Vietnam as a young girl. She grew up and raised me here (after having lived here for two years) she thought immediately that she was an immigrant and she didn’t speak English, didn’t standout like she saw the American blonde haired, blue eyes, bright, woman next to her. She really taught me that the way that you present yourself, when I say present I mean exactly like a gift, when you hand them the gift you don’t just hand them the gift. You wrap it, you wrap it so that it’s just the way you like it, whether a little boy wrapping it with clunky tape all over the place or you wrap it pristine with a bow right on point; you wrap yourself so that you present yourself in just such a way that you are saying: I am so worth opening. I’m just so full of amazing goods that you are staring at me because you’re dying to know what is inside. That’s exactly the way my mom taught me to present myself.

I watched a clip of you on YouTube where you were on stage speaking at Mira Shriver Women’s Conference. You were recalling your first day of school and said that you wore a purple tutu and shirt that said ‘Jeannie’ and of how kids made fun of you. You told the audience that you got into the car in the afternoon when your mom came to pick you up and you said to your mom, why did you let me go out dressed liked this?

JM: It was a crazy situation that led me to my understanding that what I did in that little uproar with my outfit, no matter if it was good or bad – we’re tossing that aside we’re not judging if it’s a good or bad outfit – it just brought attention to my name and who I am. In one day of school when a teacher has twenty-five kids and I didn’t remember any of them and they don’t remember anything else but my name, then I did exactly what I had been taught to do.

As a host now, do you miss being a make-up artist?

JM: Not at all because whether it is behind a brush or a clothes hanger I’m going to get you feeling good about yourself. It doesn’t really matter. I’ll figure out one way or another to make you see yourself the way that you should. Those are just tools: make-up and fashion.

I read that a pet peeve of yours was being discouraged whether that’s allowing yourself to be discouraged or having others be discouraging; is there a particular time in your life you can think of where you were super discouraged about something?

JEANNIE MAI: Yeah. After I found my faith I’ve never been discouraged like, I don’t think that there is hope. If anything, I get into my ‘hell no’ mode. It’s the mode where I’m like, hell no! This is not going to happen. I don’t get violent, I don’t get negative, if anything, I roll up my sleeves and take off the heels turn on the flats and I get in there to make things happen.

I can’t think of any times that I got that frustrated in the last seven years. Even times like, let’s say my network says I should do things that I completely disagree with… that Maria Shriver thing is actually an example. They wanted me to wear something that was very, very tame and much more average to present on the Maria Shiver stage. That was the one time I remember taking off my How Do I Look? clothes from when I was shooting and scheduling my lunch earlier so I could change into that exact outfit and drive over there, walk into that office and say, this is exactly what I was taught in that kindergarten experience; this is exactly what I am going to bring; if you want me to speak this is the way that I am coming!

Before that, the only other time I remember feeling that way was with my mum. I found out that my mom cheated on my dad at a very young age. I dismissed her entirely from age 16 through to about 25 when I found faith. That was very frustrating, to be so angry and at the time to hate your mom so bad. It’s your mom and you’re always going to think about her and you’re always reminded about her because of all the things you’ve learned from her and you love her but, you’re not ready to forgive—that was frustrating!

Have you ever had to forgive yourself for any big mistakes?

JM: Yes. There will still be times now where I’ll think of things I’ve done in the past and think, oh that’s not good! Why did I do that? The only way that I can actually feel ok to say I forgive myself, is to make some type of amends first with the person that I have hurt, you know, by saying something to them. Otherwise it just keeps eating me. Whether they forgive me or not, as long as I say something to them and authentically share with them whatever it was that just bothers me so much about what my actions were, I’m much better at forgiving myself from that point on but it doesn’t just happen immediately like that.

I love your Prayer Box Project (where people can jot down their prayers on little pieces of paper and put them into the box) that you’ve put up at Runyon Canyon. It’s such a lovely idea.What is one of your favourite things about it?

JM: My favourite thing about the Prayer Box is that it is exposed. I love that it is as easy as a little slot that says ‘pray it forward’ and you can put anything in there that you want. You can pray for your dog, you can pray for your loved ones, you can pray for a country, you can pray for your future. I don’t think prayer should be something that’s just for someone that is religious or Christian or whatever. I think that it should just be something that you do. The word ‘pray’…it’s so weird how you do the same thing when you pray physically: you talk, you utter words, you communicate but, the word ‘pray’ symbolises that you are opening it up to one other being to receive what you’re saying; somebody that is not just human, something else that you’re having faith to believe in. That’s what I think prayer is. I love it when they fold that piece of paper and they put it into the box there’s this childlike spirit in them hoping that someone will hear their prayers. Not realising that if someone retrieves that piece of paper or not, you’ve just sent your message.

Knowing all that you do now, what advice would you give to a young Jeannie Mai?

JM: To the young Jeannie Mai I would say… I actually don’t regret anything so I wouldn’t change anything. I would definitely say, ok the philosophy that I have now, I would try to instil it upon her a little bit sooner. I would have looked at my body differently. Growing up I would have looked at my body and not been so judgemental about it. I would absolutely say that I was made with purpose and that if I just take a second to breathe and receive the things that are actually happening for me – not to me but for me – I would pick up on what I mean by that.

I know that you love when people have dreams and wishes and that you love helping them see the best in themselves. I wanted to ask, right now, what are your biggest wishes and dreams?

JM: I would have to say I want to create some type of event or organisation that can live on beyond me, where women are taught the tools that they need to move forward in life: finances, relationships, health. To have a women’s conference. I would also like to host a network of shows in the area of fashion that would not only be entertaining but also very empowering at the same time.

For more Jeannie Mai: Jeannie’s blog. Jeannie’s Twitter. Jeannie’s Facebook.

I heart you all!